We've seen a lot of fibbers outed recently. And when it's a trusted newsman like Brian Williams or a military veteran like Secretary of Veterans Affairs Robert McDonald, we feel betrayed to learn that they've been lying to us. But if I told you someone on Wall Street was caught lying, you'd probably shrug it off and say, "That's what we call Tuesday."
It's not easy. If you trust everyone on Wall Street you won't be successful and if you trust no one on Wall Street you won't be successful either. There has to be a balance. Part of the trick is figuring out who - and what - to believe.
Here are the most common lies told on Wall Street:
1."I have a business dinner tonight."
This is the go-to get-out-of-jail-free card. It's hard to disprove. A business dinner is the lifeline of a salesman, which makes it difficult for a wife, husband, co-worker or client to call bullshit.
2. "My client brought their entire trading desk to dinner."
If the bill is so high you think the finance department is going to freak out, you start adding names - on the client side. One night, I was allegedly at three different business dinners in the city all at the same time. I was on my couch, but my name looked good on the expense report.
3."We spoke to the company."
While those words might be true, anything that follows it is most likely a lie because if, in fact, that person actually did speak with the company, she wouldn't divulge such information.
4. "The big boss is in town."
This is a desperate move to get the client to send his order in right now "because the big boss is watching." He just wants business and couldn't think of anything else. Why should you care about HIS boss?
5. "I have a seller of 250k XYZ and it cleans him up on 3.8 million shares.
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book. It essentially means that a broker is trying to get you to buy a block of stock with the promise that this is the end of this sell order and the stock will likely go up right after this. Unless you're related to the person saying this or you have incriminating photos of him, DO NOT believe it. Either he's lying - or his client is.
6. "I'm sorry, but he's off the desk this morning. He had a breakfast meeting."
This is the co-worker's line straight from the manual of I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS THIS MORNING. The last thing you want to do is blow up a co-worker's lie. So regardless of where he really is, he's always in a breakfast meeting when he's unaccounted for.
7. "I'm not lying."
Ding! First sign a person is lying.
Source: Bloomberg Pro Terminal
Jr Trader Alexander Kumanov
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